Wanting Complicated?

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." - John Homer Miller

I found myself a few weeks back in a position where things were simple. I kept quiet for a long time, just being one in the crowd seeing the things of this world go in and out, and wanting to do what I could but could not bring myself to do anything. I found myself simply hating the simplicity to my life and broke the hold it had on me. The moment I opened my mouth a life full of complicated situations came flooding into my life. I soon observed that by taking the bindings that a bored, simple life had on me and taking up the opportunity to become a target in a world filled with challenges and opportunities that I found a new excitement that I could strive off of to keep going. I had quit caring before for fear that I might get broken by caring too much, then I began to care with all I have in me for fear that I may not care to much and let the world wither away. Before I held myself back from friendships, evangelism, service, communication, and worst of all, love. I could not commit to anything at all for fear that it would leave just as soon as it became part of my life.

"In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it." - Norman Vincent Peale

When I first arrived at MACU I put up the same front I had all through high school, which was that I am not the intelligent, that I am a class clown, that I could care less about the classes, and that I could not care less if things were going on. I was still mad at those that had abandoned me and never wanted to have to face that possibility again. Then I began crossing those that would break down the walls I had built. One developed a friendship immediately that I have come to cherish, one received an evangelistic message from me when it was asked for, one was provided with service from me when I saw that they needed help in a variety of ways, one broke down all walls of communication in me and made me talk (well technically two here), and, though all received it to an extent, one received a love that I had not been willing to give for a long while. I still had questions about putting myself out there but soon I found out that it was paying off little by little, or maybe very rapidly. I became overjoyed to have a relief of being to look at people and actually caring once again. I have committed myself to the furthering of establishing a relationship with others and putting a seed in others of the love of God. I have been asked why I am happy in the complicated spots I get into now, and I can't say anything other then "I do not know what will happen tomorrow, but while today is here for sure I will give my all and hope for the best tomorrow." I've gotten sick of simple living.... I want a complicated life every moment of everyday so that I may live it out holding a faith that God will provide.

"It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." - Sir Edmund Hillary

We must all learn to trust God in the plans he has for us, and learn to surrender ourselves to him to become the victor in life. He will lead us to a place of refuge, a place of safety. We must all take up our cross to follow him. Sometimes that means that you may think that you leave yourself vulnerable, but in the truth of things God has all the protection you need.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." - Jeremiah 29:11-14